Help me to pick up the peices?

:) Alright. Time for an update! ^^

Got into a fight online with Mike M, Brad's ex room mate. He's being a dick, again. Every time I bring up Brad staying here or coming back here, he gets so defensive and rude. Bitter. It's annoying and I wish he would grow up and let Brad do what he wants without insulting me. Just because your girlfriend left you because she was over you, doesn't mean relationships are fake. It doesnt mean Brad and I cant have our amazing relationship that will last for a long time, back off. Seriously. I put up this post:
"thinks her boyfriend, Brad Weatherall, is crazy homesick and should just admit it so he can come home. :)"
What does he say? Not, awe that's cute. He misses you so much. Whatever...no. He says:
"Brad is home...."
And to add insult to injury, he sends me a private message saying:
"Not to sound like an ass hole but if brad liked BC soo much he wouldn't have moved back he's a big girl he didn't move cause I did I don't hold his hand"
I didn't care to go into detail with him about it because it is about Brad, not me and needs a response from him, not me. But in honesty, Brad felt obligated to go back. His family was pressuring him, he missed his nephew, and all his friends were guilting him. I know it's not a great reason to give in and move back, but at the time he felt alone. I know he regrets it, and is now debating coming back, but it is still really rude for his friend to say to me. Me, being his love; and him being one of his closest friends. Who would actually say that? All I ended up saying was "you're right, you do sound like an ass." I donno. I dont understand why he is still so bitter about us. Brad said Mike liked me, but I really dont like Mike. The last day he was here, the last night. All he talked about with Brad was about how he was dancing with girls and how he should have gone with him and yada yada. It really pissed me off and I couldn't stop crying. He said it right in front of me too. Nice friend huh? I did nothing to him, and I dont get why he is being such a dick. It really hurts my feelings. He knows how much we're in love, but I'm sure he doesn't believe it. I tried to talk to him about how I was upset about Brad moving, and he just told me. It's only been a few months, you'll get over him. Not nicely either, in rude, "I am going through worse pain than you so shut up" ways. I just cant get over how untterly rude he is being. The only reason he said he wanted Brad to be there was so he could be on the paintball team. Yeah. Real friend there. :/

I remembered today how much I liked busing. :) It's pretty awesome, and a nice amount of time to think. :) I bused to Langford today to see Tynan. Pretty fun! :D We had the most awesome food and watched the funniest movie. :) House of Wax. Pretty funny movie. We both agreed Paris made an excellent actor. I'm jealous of how well she portrayed a man. :p His mom's new boyfriend is...interesting. One minute he's nice and funny, the next he's a bit of an ass. I don't know what to think. :S

I'm leaving for Washington in a week. :) Pretty darn excited for that! A whole month away from stupid Sidney. :D Going to be nice. Lots of time to photograph...I'm pretty excited. :) Even got myself an art project to work on while I am there. :) Wish Brad was coming though, meet the family. I know he will one day, so that's okay. Oh! My! Goodness! He sent me the most amazing text today...I literally grinned from ear to ear. Damn, it's deleted from my phone...but what it said was that he couldnt wait to start a life with me. :D :D :D A life! Like, for real. Him and me. Together. :) Having a future, a life, a place. It's pretty exciting and makes my eyes glow thinking about it. I get so giggly when I think about it too! Tynan was the only one who knew about it, until now. :) Im prettttttttttyy happy!!! [[Other than Dick ManMike.]] <---- haha...witty pun!

Kendra is now, officially, 7 years old. I feel so old...

Have you ever felt so out of place....nothing anyone says can fix it? I do. I actually fall asleep at 8- 9 most nights. He's gone to sleep by then. Is it cheesy to say that I honestly dont feel a need to stay awake after I know he's asleep. After I have called him and heard his voice before he has fallen asleep. Is it cheesy to say I cant wait to wake up every morning just because I know I will have a text from him waiting patiently in my inbox? I feel out of place without him. I float from house to house, without feeling warm and at home. I see faces, but they're all blurred. Everyone seems to embody him because I need that presence so much. Is it lame that I feel that way? Is it desperate and lame that I actually feel I need him? I can be happy on my own, I am alive aren't I? Life just feels complete, full, and jolly when he is in it. :)
I miss him. :(
I told him I regretted letting him go. How I thought letting him go would be the easier thing to do. He said he did to, and wishes every day and night he would have asked me to come with him. He regrets not having me beside him...I regret it too.