Teach me sax?

Seems as though 420 made me particularly emotional.

I doubt that I get away with acting like that, no one should. When you're moody, you shouldn't take it out on other people.
Things built up, like my status said.
Ive pushed it away, out of my mind since I left that house. It's built up, and built up and on that particular day it exploded.
I exploded.
The feelings of isolation, being ignored, not important. Insignificant.
Not cool feelings.
I dont really have a single person to turn to here. Sure, my uncle and aunt are cool about listening to me, but it's not the same. It's not that bestfriend who you know has your back and will carry you through anything. That boyfriend who will love you no matter how crazy you act. That emotional support I needed but couldnt find in anyone really.
Sure, my mom helped, but that was in text.
I just hate how I've only really had one friend who has been there every single day for me. Him making the effort, as well as me instead of me making the effort constantly getting disappointed.
Its frustrating.
And now it's even worse because that one guy I thought was my friend. One that would be there if I needed him... is saying that I wasnt supporting of him.
WTF?!
Yeah. Im pretty pissed... and I dont understand why. I messaged him.. and am questioning if it was a good choice. Usually you shouldn't if your emotions are in the way. But I think I handled it okay..
I explained what happened when I was there, when I left, how I felt. I think I did it responsibly.. but I still question it.
I want to be his friend still.. but ugh.
It's so stupid.
Why cant he just grow up and stop thinking about himself. Thats what he does! He thinks about himself and is oblivious to other people. It's rediculous. I tell him when he's fucking up, and Im not there to tell him..
Im sure other people will tell him. But last time I checked, the other level headed friend he has is too scared to tell him anything.
He was acting immature and flakey. She wouldnt tell him, even after I told her she should. So, what happened? I told him. Bluntly.
If I hadnt, he wouldnt have known. Oblivious, and he needs to get told this shit. I dont understand.
I want to be his friend, but if he's not going to give a shit about a friend that has done a shit load for him... then he's not worth my time.

I want to say Im sorry to another friend.. who I was a little raw with. I didnt hold back my feelings and with everything she happened to say, it only angered me more and made me feel more obsolete. I shouldnt have said the things I did, and I know this. I am not the only one at fault, speaking rationally, but I do need to apologize for what I said. She is a great friend, and I care a lot about her. I hope she knows this, and will forgive me. <3

I was talking though, to that friend I said was there since day one.
He agreed. And I know when people move, people drift apart. But my best friend in the entire world, is still my best friend.
She lives in Washington, soon to move to Hawaii with her boyfriend. We dont see eachother often, but are so close. We stay in contact constantly and I love her to peices. She's moody, she's flakey, but she's my best friend. My other best friend and I are also still best friends, she also lives in Washington. I adore her.
If we can still be friends after I moved, why cant people from Sidney keep in contact? I have a freaking facebook to keep up with you guys! Is it so hard to reply to a wall post? Really?
Kind of rediculous people.

I love trident layers!

Haha, sorry. Commersial. (Darn not having FoxFire and spell checking..)
Anyway. I feel very left out of peoples lives just because I wanted to be in love. Really? Lamesauce.
I think some people just need to put in an effort to friendship more often.. Im tired of doing everything.
I might write another one of these later, Im bored of it now.
It's lunch time anyways.

: ) Bacon for lunch! Hurray! <3