Again, been a while.
This who concept seems to keep slipping my mind. I do need a place to explain everything Ive been thinking... since my friends and I really aren't on a daily discussion basis.
So, here goes.
I broke up with Brad yesterday. I still love him, but it wasnt hurting us both to hold on. I want to go to school, which can take 4 years or more. I want to move, document, and explore the world. I just realized that if I have a teaching degree I can move to another country and teach.. might be something to look into! Id love that. :)
I want to do that though, and not have roots. Ive come to a realization that I have a problem with commitment. Which made me think about my life... and how I've been without a boyfriend my whole life until him...unlike a huge majority of my friends. Theyve all been in and our of relationships... and look at where they are. I can see things happening for them, but nothing spectacular. I feel like a glow is starting to spread around me now that Im single. It makes me think about why I was single for so long, and why I never had a guy. Everyone says that things happen for a reason. Maybe my being single was a reason.
Not being with a man has given me the power to view myself and discover who I am. I haven't been infatuated and created myself based off of who I am with at the time. I am me, and love me or leave me but that's how it's going to be.
I also have had time to think about what I really honestly want to do with my life. I have never been content with the idea of mediocredy. Like Oscar Wilde said once, everyone can survive but it is truly rare to live. I want to live. I want to hold the world in my hand! I have big plans... and I dont want anyone to hold me back or to tie me down.
My heart warms and swells when I think about it. I dont want to have to wait for someone else to make my choices. I feel that me being single most of my life has given me the opportunity to actually do the things I want. Like I have potential in the world, and this was giving me a chance to see that I do. Like there is something Im meant to do. :)
Its nice. Ive felt single for a while... just having made it final. I love him, but again, it wont work. We want different things. Only a couple people know. My mom, My uncle and aunt, Chris, Shannon and Tynan. I dont really feel the need to tell anyone else. I dont feel like I have to broadcast it.
I dont know exactly what else to say. I wanted to get that out. I feel pretty awesome though, because Chris still cares about me. I dont want a relationship, but it's nice to know after almost 6 years he's never found anyone like me. It was like a movie... one of those romantic movies. LOL! He said he'd never gotten over me, and every girl he's ever been with since me was just a distraction. They never lasted longer than 4 months, if they got that far. I feel pretty special.
I guess it all started... me thinking about him again.. when I got a fortune cookie that said your first love never forgot about you. Which is when I decided to find him and talk to him... because I still care about him and never forgot about him. Then, he said he never did. ^^ Pretty cool. He said I was pretty unforgettable. Which is surprising because I always thought I was so normal and boring. :) But I have finally admitted it, haha, Im awesome! :) Im a catch, just takes a while to pin me down. Im not into being tied down anymore. ;)
I like being free like this. I feel like the old me again. :) Anything is possible! Im going to not look for romance anymore, if it is meant for me it will find me. :)
I aint gonna go looking for shit like that. :p
Christmas concert tonight for Katie. Haha! Should be fun. :)
Im out, gotta clean for the party this weekend.
<3
Thursday, December 9, 2010
Monday, August 16, 2010
Tired of that thing in human nature...
Okay. Where do I begin.
There's been a whole hell of a lot of shit going on. Still a little..rusty I guess.
I guess I started this because I really needed someone to vent to. Im honestly completely done with this house. Done, finished.
I cant believe how ridiculous my family is. Im extremely upset about this therapy bullshit. Apparently my sister brought it on herself. She's the one who did it, and shes the one who got everyone involved.
Actually, it was you. You're the one who called the cops saying she ran away. You're the one who involved the child services because you screamed at the lady and insulted her. Yeah, that's not going to make them go away. They are so ridiculous. This show was saying most people will think of troubled children in...a "deal with them" way. I agreed and said its not just a fix the child situation. It's everything. The people, the environment, the actions. The reply I got for this was that she agreed. People do it way too much. I was completely baffled. How can she be so completely blind to her own actions. Does she actually tell herself that she is doing everything right? That she is the perfect mother, that all her choices are in the best interest and her ideas are right?? Like, fuck!
Their idea of this, therapy bullshit, is that it is my sisters fault. They are doing nothing wrong, and they are giving her everything. She is the one acting badly and she is just a bad child. Cool. That's going to work. Lets just deny every single thing we do, and say it's her. We do everything right. We give her opportunities. We encourage her to go out and experience life. YA RIGHT! You do NONE of that! Stop blaming, I'm tired of it! Please, GROW UP and act like parents! You two sit. And you sit. And then, you bitch. You complain. You insult and you put down. Im tired of it. Stop denying everything. You will sit there and tell me to my face that you dont leave things laying around. You dont just sit all day. You dont insult your children and you dont act more like children then parents.
Oh, wait.
My bad. You will, after an hour of denying, say if I do it, everyone else does. Real mature. Followed by a couple more hours of you complaining and snapping back making the conversation go absolutely no where but in circles.
Either that, or you will just shut off and then later say everyone blames YOU and everyone thinks YOU are the only problem. Wow, maybe you could take a step back and see that's what you have been doing for years to my poor 16 year old sister! Im disgusted.
You are those people who should have NEVER had kids. No worries, people, you will know my feelings the second she returns. Seeing as you have no home therapy until SHE is here. Because, clearly, that's the only fucking reason you're having them.
So after I bring this up to my mother, and she continues to go on about how my sister brought it on to herself...
How is that to talk about a kid anyway? A teenager, still growing and learning... you treat her with such disrespect and lack of luck...you make me sick. It happened with me, and Im sick of seeing it happening to my baby sister. Be parents, not fourth graders.
Im all over the place...
The reason Im here is because my pathetic step dad continues to yell at my other sister and antagonize her. Annoying, yes. But today she asked for some chocolate and he proceeded to tell her it's unhealthy for her and bad. I held my tongue until she was in her room, in bed. Then I told them that chocolate is, in fact, not unhealthy for you. I didn't want them to lie to her, because it is a lie. They argue that it is bad, and then my mother stands up swearing under her breath about how I always start arguments and continues to complain all the way to the car until they leave. Awesome right? After my anger has subsided, it makes me sad.
All of this makes me sad.
The last couple of days I've been feeling incredibly stupid, and bored. Nothing to stimulate my brain or anything. Nothing to learn, and no way to grow.
But because of this, I feel so sad inside. For them mostly.
They are that dumb. Like, I think I'm dumb. And the way they act, and the things they say they say they know, it's sad. It only increases the theory they are still both children inside.
Their maturity level is so low, and their arrogance is extremely high. It makes me sad, and I feel pitty.
My writing is pretty shitty this time, and it's not saying much for me.. but hell. I just have to get it off my chest somehow, right?
Boyfriend and I are still together. : )
<3
Knee is finished, Im just waiting for it to heal. September 22nd is the day I fly out. I haven't told him yet, I want to surprise him. :) So stoked!
This physio though might be holding me back...
If they say I cant get on a plane then, Im gonna have to book it back to October. Which, may I say, SUCKS BALLS! That will mean that in the last YEAR I have only been with him for a month.
Quite a despicable fate.
Soon though. :) I will be in his arms. (:
So happy. ^^ You have NO idea. haha! Who am I even talking to?
Im done for the night, leg is starting to hurt.
<3
There's been a whole hell of a lot of shit going on. Still a little..rusty I guess.
I guess I started this because I really needed someone to vent to. Im honestly completely done with this house. Done, finished.
I cant believe how ridiculous my family is. Im extremely upset about this therapy bullshit. Apparently my sister brought it on herself. She's the one who did it, and shes the one who got everyone involved.
Actually, it was you. You're the one who called the cops saying she ran away. You're the one who involved the child services because you screamed at the lady and insulted her. Yeah, that's not going to make them go away. They are so ridiculous. This show was saying most people will think of troubled children in...a "deal with them" way. I agreed and said its not just a fix the child situation. It's everything. The people, the environment, the actions. The reply I got for this was that she agreed. People do it way too much. I was completely baffled. How can she be so completely blind to her own actions. Does she actually tell herself that she is doing everything right? That she is the perfect mother, that all her choices are in the best interest and her ideas are right?? Like, fuck!
Their idea of this, therapy bullshit, is that it is my sisters fault. They are doing nothing wrong, and they are giving her everything. She is the one acting badly and she is just a bad child. Cool. That's going to work. Lets just deny every single thing we do, and say it's her. We do everything right. We give her opportunities. We encourage her to go out and experience life. YA RIGHT! You do NONE of that! Stop blaming, I'm tired of it! Please, GROW UP and act like parents! You two sit. And you sit. And then, you bitch. You complain. You insult and you put down. Im tired of it. Stop denying everything. You will sit there and tell me to my face that you dont leave things laying around. You dont just sit all day. You dont insult your children and you dont act more like children then parents.
Oh, wait.
My bad. You will, after an hour of denying, say if I do it, everyone else does. Real mature. Followed by a couple more hours of you complaining and snapping back making the conversation go absolutely no where but in circles.
Either that, or you will just shut off and then later say everyone blames YOU and everyone thinks YOU are the only problem. Wow, maybe you could take a step back and see that's what you have been doing for years to my poor 16 year old sister! Im disgusted.
You are those people who should have NEVER had kids. No worries, people, you will know my feelings the second she returns. Seeing as you have no home therapy until SHE is here. Because, clearly, that's the only fucking reason you're having them.
So after I bring this up to my mother, and she continues to go on about how my sister brought it on to herself...
How is that to talk about a kid anyway? A teenager, still growing and learning... you treat her with such disrespect and lack of luck...you make me sick. It happened with me, and Im sick of seeing it happening to my baby sister. Be parents, not fourth graders.
Im all over the place...
The reason Im here is because my pathetic step dad continues to yell at my other sister and antagonize her. Annoying, yes. But today she asked for some chocolate and he proceeded to tell her it's unhealthy for her and bad. I held my tongue until she was in her room, in bed. Then I told them that chocolate is, in fact, not unhealthy for you. I didn't want them to lie to her, because it is a lie. They argue that it is bad, and then my mother stands up swearing under her breath about how I always start arguments and continues to complain all the way to the car until they leave. Awesome right? After my anger has subsided, it makes me sad.
All of this makes me sad.
The last couple of days I've been feeling incredibly stupid, and bored. Nothing to stimulate my brain or anything. Nothing to learn, and no way to grow.
But because of this, I feel so sad inside. For them mostly.
They are that dumb. Like, I think I'm dumb. And the way they act, and the things they say they say they know, it's sad. It only increases the theory they are still both children inside.
Their maturity level is so low, and their arrogance is extremely high. It makes me sad, and I feel pitty.
My writing is pretty shitty this time, and it's not saying much for me.. but hell. I just have to get it off my chest somehow, right?
Boyfriend and I are still together. : )
<3
Knee is finished, Im just waiting for it to heal. September 22nd is the day I fly out. I haven't told him yet, I want to surprise him. :) So stoked!
This physio though might be holding me back...
If they say I cant get on a plane then, Im gonna have to book it back to October. Which, may I say, SUCKS BALLS! That will mean that in the last YEAR I have only been with him for a month.
Quite a despicable fate.
Soon though. :) I will be in his arms. (:
So happy. ^^ You have NO idea. haha! Who am I even talking to?
Im done for the night, leg is starting to hurt.
<3
Thursday, April 22, 2010
Teach me sax?
Seems as though 420 made me particularly emotional.
I doubt that I get away with acting like that, no one should. When you're moody, you shouldn't take it out on other people.
Things built up, like my status said.
Ive pushed it away, out of my mind since I left that house. It's built up, and built up and on that particular day it exploded.
I exploded.
The feelings of isolation, being ignored, not important. Insignificant.
Not cool feelings.
I dont really have a single person to turn to here. Sure, my uncle and aunt are cool about listening to me, but it's not the same. It's not that bestfriend who you know has your back and will carry you through anything. That boyfriend who will love you no matter how crazy you act. That emotional support I needed but couldnt find in anyone really.
Sure, my mom helped, but that was in text.
I just hate how I've only really had one friend who has been there every single day for me. Him making the effort, as well as me instead of me making the effort constantly getting disappointed.
Its frustrating.
And now it's even worse because that one guy I thought was my friend. One that would be there if I needed him... is saying that I wasnt supporting of him.
WTF?!
Yeah. Im pretty pissed... and I dont understand why. I messaged him.. and am questioning if it was a good choice. Usually you shouldn't if your emotions are in the way. But I think I handled it okay..
I explained what happened when I was there, when I left, how I felt. I think I did it responsibly.. but I still question it.
I want to be his friend still.. but ugh.
It's so stupid.
Why cant he just grow up and stop thinking about himself. Thats what he does! He thinks about himself and is oblivious to other people. It's rediculous. I tell him when he's fucking up, and Im not there to tell him..
Im sure other people will tell him. But last time I checked, the other level headed friend he has is too scared to tell him anything.
He was acting immature and flakey. She wouldnt tell him, even after I told her she should. So, what happened? I told him. Bluntly.
If I hadnt, he wouldnt have known. Oblivious, and he needs to get told this shit. I dont understand.
I want to be his friend, but if he's not going to give a shit about a friend that has done a shit load for him... then he's not worth my time.
I want to say Im sorry to another friend.. who I was a little raw with. I didnt hold back my feelings and with everything she happened to say, it only angered me more and made me feel more obsolete. I shouldnt have said the things I did, and I know this. I am not the only one at fault, speaking rationally, but I do need to apologize for what I said. She is a great friend, and I care a lot about her. I hope she knows this, and will forgive me. <3
I was talking though, to that friend I said was there since day one.
He agreed. And I know when people move, people drift apart. But my best friend in the entire world, is still my best friend.
She lives in Washington, soon to move to Hawaii with her boyfriend. We dont see eachother often, but are so close. We stay in contact constantly and I love her to peices. She's moody, she's flakey, but she's my best friend. My other best friend and I are also still best friends, she also lives in Washington. I adore her.
If we can still be friends after I moved, why cant people from Sidney keep in contact? I have a freaking facebook to keep up with you guys! Is it so hard to reply to a wall post? Really?
Kind of rediculous people.
I love trident layers!
Haha, sorry. Commersial. (Darn not having FoxFire and spell checking..)
Anyway. I feel very left out of peoples lives just because I wanted to be in love. Really? Lamesauce.
I think some people just need to put in an effort to friendship more often.. Im tired of doing everything.
I might write another one of these later, Im bored of it now.
It's lunch time anyways.
: ) Bacon for lunch! Hurray! <3
I doubt that I get away with acting like that, no one should. When you're moody, you shouldn't take it out on other people.
Things built up, like my status said.
Ive pushed it away, out of my mind since I left that house. It's built up, and built up and on that particular day it exploded.
I exploded.
The feelings of isolation, being ignored, not important. Insignificant.
Not cool feelings.
I dont really have a single person to turn to here. Sure, my uncle and aunt are cool about listening to me, but it's not the same. It's not that bestfriend who you know has your back and will carry you through anything. That boyfriend who will love you no matter how crazy you act. That emotional support I needed but couldnt find in anyone really.
Sure, my mom helped, but that was in text.
I just hate how I've only really had one friend who has been there every single day for me. Him making the effort, as well as me instead of me making the effort constantly getting disappointed.
Its frustrating.
And now it's even worse because that one guy I thought was my friend. One that would be there if I needed him... is saying that I wasnt supporting of him.
WTF?!
Yeah. Im pretty pissed... and I dont understand why. I messaged him.. and am questioning if it was a good choice. Usually you shouldn't if your emotions are in the way. But I think I handled it okay..
I explained what happened when I was there, when I left, how I felt. I think I did it responsibly.. but I still question it.
I want to be his friend still.. but ugh.
It's so stupid.
Why cant he just grow up and stop thinking about himself. Thats what he does! He thinks about himself and is oblivious to other people. It's rediculous. I tell him when he's fucking up, and Im not there to tell him..
Im sure other people will tell him. But last time I checked, the other level headed friend he has is too scared to tell him anything.
He was acting immature and flakey. She wouldnt tell him, even after I told her she should. So, what happened? I told him. Bluntly.
If I hadnt, he wouldnt have known. Oblivious, and he needs to get told this shit. I dont understand.
I want to be his friend, but if he's not going to give a shit about a friend that has done a shit load for him... then he's not worth my time.
I want to say Im sorry to another friend.. who I was a little raw with. I didnt hold back my feelings and with everything she happened to say, it only angered me more and made me feel more obsolete. I shouldnt have said the things I did, and I know this. I am not the only one at fault, speaking rationally, but I do need to apologize for what I said. She is a great friend, and I care a lot about her. I hope she knows this, and will forgive me. <3
I was talking though, to that friend I said was there since day one.
He agreed. And I know when people move, people drift apart. But my best friend in the entire world, is still my best friend.
She lives in Washington, soon to move to Hawaii with her boyfriend. We dont see eachother often, but are so close. We stay in contact constantly and I love her to peices. She's moody, she's flakey, but she's my best friend. My other best friend and I are also still best friends, she also lives in Washington. I adore her.
If we can still be friends after I moved, why cant people from Sidney keep in contact? I have a freaking facebook to keep up with you guys! Is it so hard to reply to a wall post? Really?
Kind of rediculous people.
I love trident layers!
Haha, sorry. Commersial. (Darn not having FoxFire and spell checking..)
Anyway. I feel very left out of peoples lives just because I wanted to be in love. Really? Lamesauce.
I think some people just need to put in an effort to friendship more often.. Im tired of doing everything.
I might write another one of these later, Im bored of it now.
It's lunch time anyways.
: ) Bacon for lunch! Hurray! <3
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
Im a little mermaid
My first day back at McDs. It's weird because it feels like home when I go there. Maybe because I miss home so much... even the littlest thing that I was doing there will make me feel that little bit more comfortable in a land I have no idea how to control.
Im in a place that I dont even know the names of the streets, the people, the shops and what to do when I wake up. I really would like to actually close at these McDs... maybe close the WalMart one... then it's not as late but still closing. : )
I dont know.
I miss him.
Seems I always get really deep when I actually sit and write out my feelings instead of worrying about the time. It's not even 10... I have time. : ) Not leaving till 3.
So, I'm pretty sure I walked by Rachel McAddams the other day. I talked to my uncle and he said she's building a house near here and his friends at work have talked to her walking around town. Apparently she loves it here and you can see her a lot in town.
Kinda crazy.
Ive been talking a lot with Jim lately. My uncle.
We've actually talked about some really deep things. It's kinda cool. I just had a really upsetting talk one time.. he was kinda drunk.. and yeah. Not so fun. Bout his mom and my mom. Him saying his mom tries to make it so everyone is part of the family... well my mom doesn't feel that way. Granted, she feels really rejected by everyone because of her past. But, it's not my mom's fault. His mom actually said she didn't want us to come to the wedding of my other uncle. Like, that really doesn't reinforce the idea that she is wanting us to be part of the family. I dont get families like this anymore. Where there is so much drama, and stress, and discomfort.
I was so happy coming to my Uncles. They are so relaxed, his wife's parents. They're amazing. The first time I met them I did not feel any discomfort or uneasiness. I was able to just talk and talk when I first met them. They never reject anyone, and actually think I'm a great person. I heard the story about them meeting my uncle. They didnt think twice about if he was good for her or not. I wish there was more families like that.
I know, myself, I have been protective and not wanted to accept who my family has chosen. But, honestly, it's not my choice to make. They have found an attraction, they have found something good about this person that I dont know about. I cant pick that up like they did. My boyfriend, my family doesnt like him sometimes. They have come to like him now, but before it was all negative. I know there is something great about him, they didnt know about. I love him and there is a reason for that. If someone in my family picks someone to be with, they have a reason. I need to trust that, and just be there when things go awry, if they even do.
That's one of the many discoveries I've made living with my uncle. The other is that jealousy is a completely wasted emotion. Why should I be jealous of that girl who walks by, or that model on the page. He's not with them, he doesnt want them, he doesnt love them or crave them. Why do I even worry about it?
It's been a year, and we've been through so much shit... why do I even worry about another girl being pretty? It's not really her fault she's that pretty. It's genes, well, that and hard work. Who wouldnt be attracted to them? The fact that he choses to be beside me and love me, and not chase them is what I need to keep in mind. I mean the world to him, he said so. Jealousy is a waste of my time.
Im not 100% over it, but Im getting there. : )
I dont understand either... why people can not like someone without really knowing them. Like, my stepdad... why does no one really like him? He's not immature and lazy and childish. He's growing up and stuff... he works hard and supports a full family. Like an actual full family. 2 teenage girls and a baby girl. Not even getting to raise the teenagers, he just jumped into it full hearted. How can people think he's a bad person and not like him? It's not fair. I dont like how people can do that.
Well Im gonna get another cup of coffee now!
Im in a place that I dont even know the names of the streets, the people, the shops and what to do when I wake up. I really would like to actually close at these McDs... maybe close the WalMart one... then it's not as late but still closing. : )
I dont know.
I miss him.
Seems I always get really deep when I actually sit and write out my feelings instead of worrying about the time. It's not even 10... I have time. : ) Not leaving till 3.
So, I'm pretty sure I walked by Rachel McAddams the other day. I talked to my uncle and he said she's building a house near here and his friends at work have talked to her walking around town. Apparently she loves it here and you can see her a lot in town.
Kinda crazy.
Ive been talking a lot with Jim lately. My uncle.
We've actually talked about some really deep things. It's kinda cool. I just had a really upsetting talk one time.. he was kinda drunk.. and yeah. Not so fun. Bout his mom and my mom. Him saying his mom tries to make it so everyone is part of the family... well my mom doesn't feel that way. Granted, she feels really rejected by everyone because of her past. But, it's not my mom's fault. His mom actually said she didn't want us to come to the wedding of my other uncle. Like, that really doesn't reinforce the idea that she is wanting us to be part of the family. I dont get families like this anymore. Where there is so much drama, and stress, and discomfort.
I was so happy coming to my Uncles. They are so relaxed, his wife's parents. They're amazing. The first time I met them I did not feel any discomfort or uneasiness. I was able to just talk and talk when I first met them. They never reject anyone, and actually think I'm a great person. I heard the story about them meeting my uncle. They didnt think twice about if he was good for her or not. I wish there was more families like that.
I know, myself, I have been protective and not wanted to accept who my family has chosen. But, honestly, it's not my choice to make. They have found an attraction, they have found something good about this person that I dont know about. I cant pick that up like they did. My boyfriend, my family doesnt like him sometimes. They have come to like him now, but before it was all negative. I know there is something great about him, they didnt know about. I love him and there is a reason for that. If someone in my family picks someone to be with, they have a reason. I need to trust that, and just be there when things go awry, if they even do.
That's one of the many discoveries I've made living with my uncle. The other is that jealousy is a completely wasted emotion. Why should I be jealous of that girl who walks by, or that model on the page. He's not with them, he doesnt want them, he doesnt love them or crave them. Why do I even worry about it?
It's been a year, and we've been through so much shit... why do I even worry about another girl being pretty? It's not really her fault she's that pretty. It's genes, well, that and hard work. Who wouldnt be attracted to them? The fact that he choses to be beside me and love me, and not chase them is what I need to keep in mind. I mean the world to him, he said so. Jealousy is a waste of my time.
Im not 100% over it, but Im getting there. : )
I dont understand either... why people can not like someone without really knowing them. Like, my stepdad... why does no one really like him? He's not immature and lazy and childish. He's growing up and stuff... he works hard and supports a full family. Like an actual full family. 2 teenage girls and a baby girl. Not even getting to raise the teenagers, he just jumped into it full hearted. How can people think he's a bad person and not like him? It's not fair. I dont like how people can do that.
Well Im gonna get another cup of coffee now!
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
Prospects
New haircut.
New job.
New perspective on life.
: )
And, guess what?
Coming to good ol' BC in April. : ) More towards May, but yeah. : ) See you then!
New job.
New perspective on life.
: )
And, guess what?
Coming to good ol' BC in April. : ) More towards May, but yeah. : ) See you then!
Monday, March 22, 2010
8..6..7..5..3..0........niiiiiiiiineee :p
I went to see him. : )
On the 16th. Our anniversary of one year.
It was a surprise, which I kind of regret now. He said he would have called in sick to work... so we could have spent time together...more than 30 minutes.
As much as it sucked to only see him for a short period of time... it was amazing to see him again.
I miss him so much... blah. Im really starting to feel disgust for the seperation. It's been a month since I've seen him... and it's really not cool. He said to hold on, because this is only making us stronger... but it's no fun. I dont even know... I'm so rambling.
Ramble.
Ramble.
Ramble.
Blah.
I had an allergic reaction last night... pretty awesome. Swelled up my throat..
Yep. Preeeeettty awesome.
I had an interview. : ) For management. : ) Pretty excited. I think that I might get it... and it pays way more than lame jobs. Like my previous lame job. : )
Hope I can get it... would be lovely.
Again.
Rambling.
I think I'm done.
On the 16th. Our anniversary of one year.
It was a surprise, which I kind of regret now. He said he would have called in sick to work... so we could have spent time together...more than 30 minutes.
As much as it sucked to only see him for a short period of time... it was amazing to see him again.
I miss him so much... blah. Im really starting to feel disgust for the seperation. It's been a month since I've seen him... and it's really not cool. He said to hold on, because this is only making us stronger... but it's no fun. I dont even know... I'm so rambling.
Ramble.
Ramble.
Ramble.
Blah.
I had an allergic reaction last night... pretty awesome. Swelled up my throat..
Yep. Preeeeettty awesome.
I had an interview. : ) For management. : ) Pretty excited. I think that I might get it... and it pays way more than lame jobs. Like my previous lame job. : )
Hope I can get it... would be lovely.
Again.
Rambling.
I think I'm done.
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
Just....Ugh.
Haha. Brad got my t4 in the mail yesterday...and a note from Grant (the owner of the Sidney Mcds...) saying that he would have a job if I came back! : ) We both had a good laugh about that.
So. I hate my job....sooo much. Dislike it so much I am..like I've said. Applying to McDs again. XD Funny...me thinks.
Least it's better than where I work now. :/ So slow and lame there.
I want to quit badly. Just be like, not working out. I'll finish the week, but after that, peace.
Course, I need to talk to Lorna and Jim about it. I am living with them... and they are paying for me to live and eat atm. I just...ugh. I'm not being whiney. Maybe a little bit, but it's hurting my knee hella! After 4 hours! D: How is that good?!
I dont even want to talk right now.
I have to do some bullshit workshop training online for my job. Lame. It's really really really boring and I want to fall asleep. Mostly because it's all things I know already...
So. I hate my job....sooo much. Dislike it so much I am..like I've said. Applying to McDs again. XD Funny...me thinks.
Least it's better than where I work now. :/ So slow and lame there.
I want to quit badly. Just be like, not working out. I'll finish the week, but after that, peace.
Course, I need to talk to Lorna and Jim about it. I am living with them... and they are paying for me to live and eat atm. I just...ugh. I'm not being whiney. Maybe a little bit, but it's hurting my knee hella! After 4 hours! D: How is that good?!
I dont even want to talk right now.
I have to do some bullshit workshop training online for my job. Lame. It's really really really boring and I want to fall asleep. Mostly because it's all things I know already...
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