Ratata tata

Hello Bradley Weatherall. :) I miss you, pretty much like crazy. :)
So...I am sorry I got snappy at you...but all day the only thing that really kept me trucking was knowing I could talk to you at the end of it. That you'd make it all go away and I would feel better. So, when I got off work, and you couldn't talk to me..that was another day the stress would just sit atop my shoulders. I went through a crap load today, I even cried. I was getting so stressed out. Let me start from the beginning.

I woke up to my alarm at 7, but was so exhausted from house work and normal work yesterday, I didn't stay away. Im very glad that I put in my phone reminders of the times I work. If it weren't for that, I wouldn't have woke up. So, BEEP! That woke me up. I freaked out. Threw my uniform on, but my mom wouldn't drive me so I had to walk to work. Almost there, Nicole calls me. I'm on my fucking way. Now, that was the first trigger that warned me today would be a bad day.

Once I got to work, Nicole gave subtle bitches at me for being late. Yesterday, I had to leave for the pre. op. and because of that; or as she put it "because of ME" they were behind AAAAALLL day. She is a dramatic bitch, and I hate it. She leaves for things all the time, but it's okay. Consider that my smoke break for the last year, bitch.
So I got there, she made me get into running and presenting, 3 orders deep. Because she didnt want to. So I'm kinda stressing, because for the entire year I worked there I was never super strong at breakfast. So, after being gone for three months, I get thrown into breakfast. Bam. I dont know what Im doing, Im forgetting to park, but at least I was keeping up on making coffee. I kept getting lined. Every two seconds I would get rude remarks from Keira or Nicole. Orders were being made slowly, even though John and another strong body were in the back. I was very irritated. So, Im getting bitched at, youre doing this wrong, stop doing that, keep up, blah blah fucking blah. I am trying to help window, because it's fucking Dylan. Im trying to keep up on drive thru. Im almost cracking. Mel comes in, and fucks up one of my orders, so I'm so lost. Handing out the wrong orders and getting so messed up. Then. Nicole blames me. I flipped. I ran off the floor almost yelled fuck you Nicole, do it yourself. I was crying, almost yelling in the back. Trying to vent it all out so that I can go back and work again. I did, after almost hitting the wall. And went back. Filled the orders, and started "fresh".

It was going okay for a little. Then Nicole was like, "im going to just put you on prep." As in, you're not worth this, make salads. Pissed me off. She's treating me so bad. She was always like, I wanna push you forward! Now, she doesn't even treat me like a manager. She treats me like a new employee and I just want to hit her. She doesn't involve me in anything, and acts like Im stupid. Im getting tired of it. THEN! She pulled me in the office to write me up for being late. I guess it's okay, because Doug got suspended for being late. She was like "i respect you as a person, think you have so much potential, yada yada, but as for training. its not important anymore, I need to protect the restaurant in two months. Since you're leaving, it doesn't matter. "
So. Because she's stupid, and forgets to train me in the FIRST place....now she just wont even attempt to because Im..."leaving them". Fucking whore! Selfish fucking company people.
So. I'm written up. Whatever, I dont give a fuck. Then things are going okay, but I get put in back. With Chloe. I love her to bits, but she doesnt know what shes doing. She is initiating, and im finishing. And I get yelled at because she doesnt know what burger she is on. I wanted to pull my hair out. We got loaded with orders and went super slow because she forgot which she did and which was next. Nicole bitched at me, like I was a moron. So we switched and yada yada. Then I was on window. Pretty much running all the orders at once because Dylan is slow as fuck, and doesnt know what to do. Im stocking, Im packing, im pouring. Im exhausted, and I asked for a break. But, since I was late (by 20 minutes, if that, i might add) all of the breaks are behind, and I have to wait. My knee is killing me, but I have to wait. So, like a trooper, I stick it out.
It's almost 3, which I can normally make it to without a break, and I'm dying. My knee is actually throbbing and my feet swelled a little. Yeah, poor me. I'm not complaining that it was so painful, woe-is-me, I'm just saying I'm trying to get used to this but I was in pain and she didnt care. I need surgery, and when it hurts it needs a fucking rest. But, no. So I finally get my break, and my feet are like....to that point where even rubbing my head softly against the floor I would get the sensation it was being massaged up to my knee. Soar.
On and off, she keeps going back to the office to just, do whatever she does. But I cant take a break with my throbbing knee. Fuuuucking bitch. I dont even know how to describe how annoyed I was. But I kept telling myself that I would stick it out. That, I was stronger than this and I could make it. I could survive my love leaving me...because his needs were apparently more worthy than my own, Im sure I can handle this. So I did.
Honestly, every contact with my feet right now, feels that way it did. It's intense.
I agreed to work tomorrow, 5-9, because I need the money. :/

Then, I got home after going to this pretty cool tour of the light contest on the naval base. I went to my room and chilled, because I had to get off my feet! Just...had to. Then, I thought I would go and look at the kitchen. See if, while home the entire day, someone got to the dishes. No. I was wrong. No one did. It really, really frustrated me. Before, their excuse for doing nothing, was because they were working. NOW! They are home. They dont work, so you'd think they would do something around the house? No. Instead, they sit on their butts. I want to be like hey, I worked all day, and still cleaned the fucking house. I think you can help out. Before, I worked and they still expected me to do dishes and shit. They didnt, because they were so tired from work. Apparently, I wasnt. So, now Im working and doing some overtime hours and doing extra stuff, but I come home and...nothing is done. No, I'm not too tired after doing all I do, I can also clean the dishes you leave lying around. You cant even put them in the kitchen in an orderly fashion. I dont know, it just annoys me. They would call me lazy? I dont feel bad anymore about it. Because I know I work my ass off compared to them. So fuck them. I know though, if they say one thing about one of us kids being lazy, I will flip.