delution and denial

Ba dum da dum! :) One more full day left in British Columbia. Crazy...

X-Sort my clothes.
X-Figure what I want to take with that's not clothes.
X-Sort through the boxes in Bethany's room of my things.
X-Saturday dinner.
-Pack...obviously.
X-Wrap Kendra's dress.
-Pack up desk.
-Pack up bathroom.
-Pack up extras in the bedroom.
X-Give away clothes.

That's what Ive gotten of my list. :) Just packing left. Ahhhh I'm so nervous to see him again! I am going to miss everyone so much... like crazy.
I feel bad...I've kind of deceived everyone. When they say that they will miss me, I tell them I will be back. That the only reason Im going to Ontario is to convince Bradley to return. Alas, that is not my reason at all. I want to get out of Sidney. I want to go to him, I want to start a life with him. Fresh, clean, perfect. Get an apartment, live cheaper, build more friendships, build a life. I am so excited to get a place with him and buy all the things for my house to make it perfect.
Be able to paint again.
Be able to have my own room for hobbies, and he has his.
To be able to snuggle up with him at night. After everything has gone in the day, I get to go home. Put the key into the lock of my door, and open it. I am so excited to open the door to that perfect homey smell, walk in and have dinner with my love. Curl up on the couch with him, and crawl into bed next to him.
:) That is my goal. That is my dream.
I am sorry for those I lied to about it, and coming back. But, I dont think I will be coming back. I will visit, for those I love, but I am not moving back. I doubt it. It's weird to think about, but that's most likely how it is going down.

I cant wait to spice up my life. :) :)
Im excited to see the other half of the world. :p I feel like my grandma. How she moved across the country to be with the man she loved. Woot!
I miss them.
My Grandparents. :/ I really hope that Brad and I can make it back to see them before they pass on. I really want them to know him. I really want him to know them. I want him to know my brother and my dad also.
Just because my mom doesn't like him, doesn't mean he's not worth liking. My sister adores him, and kids can always tell a persons personality first.
He wants so much for my mother to like him, and to accept him. Ive never seen him so worried about being liked. It's cute, but I feel so bad. :( He feels ...
he feels so horrible. Like because my family doesnt like him, he's not a good person.

He tried so hard to get them to like him. It was also cute. He wanted to cook them food, and tidy the house, and just make the best impression he could. It makes me happy inside he cared so much.
It meant he cared because they are my family. For example, when the fiance meets the family and has to be approved before he is acceptable to be married off to their daughter. It felt like that.
He seems like the kind that would ask my dad for my hand before he asked me.
:) I feel like I am worth loving when he does those sorts of things for me.

I am so excited to get on that plane. I know I'm going to cry Wednesday, but I cant wait. I am not excited to leave Kendra, but I have to. Well, I dont have to but want to. I need to. I am excited to straighten my hair and doll up to see him again. :)
I noticed that since he isn't here anymore, I really dont care what I look like. xD I dont ever put on make up, or any kind. Not even eye.
I also never do my hair, I just put it up. I dont worry about anything, I just go out and do what I need to do. But I am very happy to be able to dress up and do my hair and such for him. Dude,
I
am
such
a
fucking
girl.

Dinner tonight.
Tynan is coming over. :) Pretty stoked. We're gonna watch movies tomorrow, that will be fun. :) :)