Irritated.

So. I'm fucking sick of you. Call me fucking lazy? Hypocrite. Don't think I dont hear you complaining about me. Screw off.
Seriously. I have been working, and what have you been doing? Nothing. Thank you very much, but screw you. I didn't do those dishes why? Because I had to be working! I was pissed off because the last time this happened, I had been working 5 days in a row. 8 hours. And I came home to do the fucking chores, because none of you could. So I'm so upset, I didn't do it this time. You can do it yourself. So, I'm annoyed. Then what do I get? You accusing me of stealing your stuff, throwing your stuff away, and being too lazy to pick up a fucking piece of soap. I DIDN'T FUCKING USE IT! Ugh. I'm really annoyed. I know I only have a few days, but fuck. I can not take this if I dont have more weed. I'm not an addict, but holy fuck. This is really ...just ridiculous. I want to punch you in the face, so much.

K so. New years. Yippy. I dont give a fuck. It's just another day. Negative, probably. I dont care. I'm alone. He's not here. My friends are kinda....peacing on me. My family are being dicks. Im just, too irritated to be deep and think. I just want him back. I want him to come the fuck home so we can get a place here. This keeps happening. I miss him, and then I get angry. I get angry at him for leaving me. Leaving me here to feel all this pain. Today, I felt the pain and got very upset and depressed. Texts to him are as follows:
"Why the fuck am I always second? Why the fuck do I try so hard and get hurt? Why the fuck do I get left behind, why am I such a fucking nucience? What the fuck did I do wrong in my life to get treated like this? Fuck 2010. Fuck BC. Fuck Canada. Im just a tag along, fuck up, waste of time and space. "
His reply was a few things, but do you love me was a question in it.
"You had to make sure I loved you?? Why is it you who always asks that? Im the one who makes an effort to talk to you, youre the one that doesnt want to talk to me because youre watching tv, with your brother in law, or Connor. I get upset and youre asking me if I love you?? Really??"

Yeah. I blew up on him today. Friends ditch me or just fucking forget about me. My work thinks I am not work their money or time. My boss, the owner, said that. My family always wants me gone, and now my boyfriend never wants to talk to me. Ugh. I have had the worst week. Him and I keep getting into fights because he DOESNT GET IT! D: How can you really not get it? I dont understand. It frustrates me so much...I cant even spell!

I dont even know what to say further. I ...I just fucking want him back! Is that so hard? I know it's Feb 10th...but uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuugggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!! D:

CRY! :( Cry, cry, cry cry. D: