Forever with me.

Okay...so...today was a pretty stressful and emotional day.

My boyfriend just left me...forever. Least that is what it feels like. Driving to the airport it really didnt seem real, that he would change his mind. Then it kept going...and he didn't. He was telling me about the plane he came here on, and how it would be on the way back. It was nice, and we were watching the other planes leave and come in. Then, time snuck up behind us and then we had no more waiting. He had to go through security...which we both thought I could also go with him. I couldn't, and it upset us both. So...like those movies...we had to have the emotional goodbye at the gate. I tried so very hard not to cry in public, but I failed. I bailed like a little girl...it was embarrasing. I didn't want to let him out of my arms, and if I didn't have to i wouldnt have. Even thinking about it right now it is hard not to cry. My eyes actually hurt so much from today. Lastnight we had a moment. We had a friend over and were drinking for our last night, but it hit me that tonight he wouldn't be home for me to snuggle with. I couldn't hold it in, and had to ditch to the bathroom, when he followed me. We talked...and neither of us could hold it in apparently. There are too many details I dont want to talk about, but it was intense. I stayed at the airport till I couldnt see his plane anymore. That last kiss was very special, but I wish so very much I could feel his lips back against mine...

I havent ever felt a pain like this before, and it kills me inside. I cant talk about this anymore...it's not...I cant.

I just want him back...