Sitting on the couch, all spread out and relaxed. Cute boyfriend all snuggled in bed eating the casserole I made last night. :) He said he really liked it. Made me feel really special when Madison had it last night. She said it was so amazing. Made me feel very good.
So I was reading a certain someone's blog and it made me think very deeply about love. Brad and I had a bit of an argument last night. Not great. Pretty much what it intaled was him saying he couldnt get his flight for the 11th, so he joked that he would have to stay till New Years. I'm sure I mentioned that. Well...he just got the ticket for the 11th. :/ I was very, very upset. Im not sure exactly how it went down, but I was mad and he was mad that I was upset, so I told him to fuck off and turned my phone off. This was at 9. The next time I talked to him was 1 am. I actually sat in the rain for an hour with my friend just to clear my head. I dont think Ive ever felt to crappy about myself. He cant wait to leave, and that also means leaving me. My mom tried to convince me that it wasnt me he wanted to leave, and so did Rosie. It didnt work so well, as in I didnt believe it. Until he came home to see me after work. He came home right after work, without chilling at Chev, which he usually does. It ended up being rather emotional...and him admitting that he felt I was too good for him. Which after everything we talked about all I could say to his comment was:
"Maybe I'm not too good for you, maybe I'm just what you need."
We are good now, but he is still leaving. He said he wants to stay with me though and visit me from Ontario. He even mentioned breifly that he wanted me to come with him, the only problem was I didnt know if I was going to school or moving to Washington. I love him. He's leaving to work. Adios!
xoxox
Ah! he just started to massage my foot...Im in love. <3
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
I like where you sleep, when you sleep next to me.
Sweet. :) First time in two weeks I get the house to myself. There has always been someone here. But don't get me wrong, I do enjoy the people I live with, but I also really like just relaxing on the couch in sweats and a cup of coffee. :) I'm also very happy knowing that I have food in the house. Shopping is great, and I actually like it. It's a great feeling knowing I went out and got a house full of food. I had a breakdown a while ago with Bradley about how since moving to Canada my nutrition has gone down. I have lost so much energy compared to what I used to have...but I've also not eaten the amount of junk I used to...which is the brighter side to the darkness. :) It's pretty awesome...I have to say. Having cut veggies in the fridge, cheeses, salad things...it's just delightful! This, honestly, is the first time I have actually felt like an adult. Moved out. Own food. Staying afloat. Great feeling. :)
So...I was driving Chloe home from work last night...it was only around nine. Dropped her off in Dean Park then was on my way back, and as I went to turn off on the exit, I heard what seemed to be an explosion. My heart about jumped out of my chest. I have been scared since it started to have problems that the engine would blow up on me. I thought this is what happened. So I tried my best to get the car to the gas station, and I made it. Looking under the hood proved that it was yet another problem with my alternator! Third time! My car has been going through so many problems ever since I went to that Lake for Grad camping. It's very frustrating, and I really dont want to put more money into it. I swear we have soaked more money into this thing than we actually paid to get it. It's ridiculous! I dont know what I am going to do about it.
I'm pretty sure my pay has again increased. :) I just got promoted to management, it's pretty exciting! I tried the shirts on though, and they didn't fit. It was very embarrassing because I actually had to go to Steve and ask for another size. He wouldn't just let it be that it didn't fit, he had to know why. So, awkwardly, I had to explain to him that the shirts did not fit because of my upper half. Not cool. They went through all the sizes for manager shirts, and left with ordering one of my size. I feel embarrassed and annoyed. I still have the name tag though, and dont need to wear a hat anymore. :) Pretty cool. And! I get paid breaks. :) Pretty awesome.
This incredibly ridiculous show is on right now, and I cant stop laughing at it! :p
I was talking to Brad this morning. He is scheduled to leave the 11th of October. His flight for that day, however, is more expensive than the last time he looked. He cant afford it. So, what is he to do? We talked a little bit and he jokingly said that if he couldn't get this flight, he'd have to stay till New Years. :D That made me happier than I can actually describe to you. If he stayed that long, I would get Thanksgiving with him, Halloween, AND Christmas! That would be the most amazing thing ever! It is so great to actually wake up with him, to continue doing that until Christmas!? Dear god. It would be a dream! Honestly though, I am scared. What happens if something happens to break us up, and then he cant leave? I would feel so horrible. He would be stuck in a place where the only reason he stayed, just left him. Not cool. Then, my roomie asked me what I wanted for Christmas. Totally threw me off guard. Christmas in 80 days away, or so. I haven't even started to think about it! I was trying to think of things, and then Brad suggested a plane ticket to go see him if he was gone back by then. :) I would really like that. But, I really wouldn't if when I got back to see him, he had another girlfriend he was banging. Because, let's face it, my man is pretty desirable. :) Least, I think he is. I would die inside if I got the chance to see him after he left, and he was with someone else. :(
I just remembered I have to call a place about a mirror. Bye!
So...I was driving Chloe home from work last night...it was only around nine. Dropped her off in Dean Park then was on my way back, and as I went to turn off on the exit, I heard what seemed to be an explosion. My heart about jumped out of my chest. I have been scared since it started to have problems that the engine would blow up on me. I thought this is what happened. So I tried my best to get the car to the gas station, and I made it. Looking under the hood proved that it was yet another problem with my alternator! Third time! My car has been going through so many problems ever since I went to that Lake for Grad camping. It's very frustrating, and I really dont want to put more money into it. I swear we have soaked more money into this thing than we actually paid to get it. It's ridiculous! I dont know what I am going to do about it.
I'm pretty sure my pay has again increased. :) I just got promoted to management, it's pretty exciting! I tried the shirts on though, and they didn't fit. It was very embarrassing because I actually had to go to Steve and ask for another size. He wouldn't just let it be that it didn't fit, he had to know why. So, awkwardly, I had to explain to him that the shirts did not fit because of my upper half. Not cool. They went through all the sizes for manager shirts, and left with ordering one of my size. I feel embarrassed and annoyed. I still have the name tag though, and dont need to wear a hat anymore. :) Pretty cool. And! I get paid breaks. :) Pretty awesome.
This incredibly ridiculous show is on right now, and I cant stop laughing at it! :p
I was talking to Brad this morning. He is scheduled to leave the 11th of October. His flight for that day, however, is more expensive than the last time he looked. He cant afford it. So, what is he to do? We talked a little bit and he jokingly said that if he couldn't get this flight, he'd have to stay till New Years. :D That made me happier than I can actually describe to you. If he stayed that long, I would get Thanksgiving with him, Halloween, AND Christmas! That would be the most amazing thing ever! It is so great to actually wake up with him, to continue doing that until Christmas!? Dear god. It would be a dream! Honestly though, I am scared. What happens if something happens to break us up, and then he cant leave? I would feel so horrible. He would be stuck in a place where the only reason he stayed, just left him. Not cool. Then, my roomie asked me what I wanted for Christmas. Totally threw me off guard. Christmas in 80 days away, or so. I haven't even started to think about it! I was trying to think of things, and then Brad suggested a plane ticket to go see him if he was gone back by then. :) I would really like that. But, I really wouldn't if when I got back to see him, he had another girlfriend he was banging. Because, let's face it, my man is pretty desirable. :) Least, I think he is. I would die inside if I got the chance to see him after he left, and he was with someone else. :(
I just remembered I have to call a place about a mirror. Bye!
Thursday, September 24, 2009
Romulous
Alright! Blog number three....I'm on a roll!
Today was pretty okay, except my back hurt like crazy! :( I dont think it's the bed at all...I think it is that Im sharing a single with my boyfriend...who doesnt like to "share" his space. :P I guess it's that way for both of us though. I like to spread out, and so does he. Which, doesn't help when you are sharing with another person. It's very cute to wake up beside him though. :) You know how people say when others sleep they look like angels? Well, I tell you what, this guy does. He looks so sweet, innocent, and perfect. I dont know, this feeling is the best I've ever felt. To actually have this much love in my heart for a single person...it makes me feel so wonderful. I love love. I love loving him. I love the looks he gives me and I love how he cant leave the room without telling me he loves me and giving me a kiss. :) I have to say, this is a very good first relationship for me. I really thought relationships were like they make them out to be in the movies....and the tv shows. But honestly, if you believe that, your relationships will fail. That isnt how men really are, and it is horrible to make women actually believe there will be perfect mr. charming waiting for them out there. Yes, there are nice guys, but compared to tv they don't measure up! It's horrible. My guy, is actually a very nice boyfriend. But, compared to tv and movies, he's a jackass. You have to forget the fairytale world, and focus on real men. Im tired of believing something that was just made from the mind of a woman. Granted, I would love a guy like that, but I know if I really got it....I would just want Brad back.
So I was watching Seinfeld today...yeah I know. I really dont like the show either, but today it was interesting. They were talking about communism. And the way they discribe it, I would have to consider myself one. :/ They were talking about how we shouldnt support the companies who force children to make their products and were being called communist. Why would I want to support something that is only corrupting our world? It's horrible. I was talking with Maddie today about something similar. We are both really for changing the world, and I really am happy she is my roomie. She wants to change the world, and I want to save it. :) Anyways, we were talking about how they are finally starting to use bamboo for shirts and clothing and even hairspray. It is remarkable the technology we are being able to use now, it's amazing. How a single bamboo can grow on so little water, but yet the cotton is draining our water supplies. Im sure in minor use cotton would not have, but it is the demand that makes it such a bad thing. Just like with the paper and forrestry. Cutting down trees isnt a horrible thing, it's just when there is such a grossly high demand for paper that it gets out of hand. We need the industry to help our economy survive, but it is getting out of hand. When entire animal species go endangered due to it, you know you have a problem. I really do wish I had the opportunities my friend Harle had. She is making such a difference. She has been interviewed about what she has been able to do, three times. :/ News and radio. So jealous.
I really wish I could make a difference though. I wish I meant something to someone.
Today was pretty okay, except my back hurt like crazy! :( I dont think it's the bed at all...I think it is that Im sharing a single with my boyfriend...who doesnt like to "share" his space. :P I guess it's that way for both of us though. I like to spread out, and so does he. Which, doesn't help when you are sharing with another person. It's very cute to wake up beside him though. :) You know how people say when others sleep they look like angels? Well, I tell you what, this guy does. He looks so sweet, innocent, and perfect. I dont know, this feeling is the best I've ever felt. To actually have this much love in my heart for a single person...it makes me feel so wonderful. I love love. I love loving him. I love the looks he gives me and I love how he cant leave the room without telling me he loves me and giving me a kiss. :) I have to say, this is a very good first relationship for me. I really thought relationships were like they make them out to be in the movies....and the tv shows. But honestly, if you believe that, your relationships will fail. That isnt how men really are, and it is horrible to make women actually believe there will be perfect mr. charming waiting for them out there. Yes, there are nice guys, but compared to tv they don't measure up! It's horrible. My guy, is actually a very nice boyfriend. But, compared to tv and movies, he's a jackass. You have to forget the fairytale world, and focus on real men. Im tired of believing something that was just made from the mind of a woman. Granted, I would love a guy like that, but I know if I really got it....I would just want Brad back.
So I was watching Seinfeld today...yeah I know. I really dont like the show either, but today it was interesting. They were talking about communism. And the way they discribe it, I would have to consider myself one. :/ They were talking about how we shouldnt support the companies who force children to make their products and were being called communist. Why would I want to support something that is only corrupting our world? It's horrible. I was talking with Maddie today about something similar. We are both really for changing the world, and I really am happy she is my roomie. She wants to change the world, and I want to save it. :) Anyways, we were talking about how they are finally starting to use bamboo for shirts and clothing and even hairspray. It is remarkable the technology we are being able to use now, it's amazing. How a single bamboo can grow on so little water, but yet the cotton is draining our water supplies. Im sure in minor use cotton would not have, but it is the demand that makes it such a bad thing. Just like with the paper and forrestry. Cutting down trees isnt a horrible thing, it's just when there is such a grossly high demand for paper that it gets out of hand. We need the industry to help our economy survive, but it is getting out of hand. When entire animal species go endangered due to it, you know you have a problem. I really do wish I had the opportunities my friend Harle had. She is making such a difference. She has been interviewed about what she has been able to do, three times. :/ News and radio. So jealous.
I really wish I could make a difference though. I wish I meant something to someone.
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
Somethings, which might suprise you....
Hey there! Finally time for a second post. I am not exactly sure what to say...but I guess I will start. :)
So, recently, my boyfriend and I had our six months together. It was pretty cute. I tried to do cute things, and take him out. When in all reality, we would have both rather just stayed home and watched a movie while ordering food. I really feel stupid for thinking I had to spend money and go out to make the day special, when just being with him makes it special. He moved in with me Sunday. That made me very happy. :) This way I don't feel like I have to nag him to see him, instead I just go home. :) If he isn't there, he will be by the end of the night. It's nice, and I really enjoy it. I get to wake up seeing the most amazing guy, and fall asleep snuggled close to him. Very romantic if I do say so myself. Who needs gifts when I get his smile and him whispering in my ear how much he loves me.
My car is acting up, and it's pissing me off. I changed the oil, oil filter, trans fluid, and such and it still runs funny. It actually seems to run worse! I will run and it seems to jerk and feels like the engine is about to stop. I am going to take it to my dad or my friends, but I'm not sure how worth fixing it is. Last time I worked on it with my boyfriend we both agreed it wasn't worth working on more. If it dies, just get a new one. I mean, if I keep this up, I am going to end up spending hundreds of dollars into a car I only bought for 700 dollars. Not so cool.
Lots of fun things seem to be happening. :) My friend John asked me to help him make a video for one of his songs. He has a CD from when he lived in Africa, and it's very good. I am rather excited. I might use that to apply for Ryerson. I dont know if that is how you spell the college's name, but I tried. :) Of course, I am not just applying there, I am going to apply everywhere I can think of. I dont want to close off any options I could have to learn and grow in the field. I'm very excited, but I am also very worried. I dont actually have enough confidence in my "talent" for the field that I will get far at all. I guess that is what university is for. :)
Moving out has been very up and down. It has been...20 days since I moved out. I would have to say it was better than the very first day I moved out. Haha! Room mate coming in at 2 am with friends being loud as hell when I had to work at 9 the next morning. No fun there. I seem to be late a lot however, compared to living at home. Which frustrates me. I know the reason is only that I am sleeping with my boyfriend. He is just too comfy to wake up so early and leave. Ugh! Speaking of work! I am so frustrated with that shit hole! I work at a fast food restaurant, but it's not entirely bad. I stay for the people. I have to say, however, it is so similar to a soap opera. There is so much drama going around that small building, it drives me crazy. The drama and rumors started there almost broke my boyfriend and I up twice. No fun. A few people in particular irritate me. Also, newer people are getting promoted at a rapid speed, while the employees who have been there longer and know more are being forgotten. I know for certain someone who should be promoted, but hasn't even been noticed. She does so much work and contributes so much, but isn't recognized. Instead, a stupid little girl who is just 15 and started not even two months ago is promoted. Apparently she is always working, which is a load of shit! She stands around texting or talking to her friends at work. The only reason all the managers think she works so hard, is because she is conveniently working on something when they come around. Very annoying. I know for certain when I started I was actually cleaning and working constantly, with or without a manager around. It really frustrates me when I know people are working, but have nothing to work on when managers are around. LAME! Really annoying. The head of the restaurant pisses me off the most however. She will demand everyone have at least one close or open in their schedule a week, but she never will. She refuses, but we have to. And! Even when she is working, she is sitting in the office or just standing around complaining. I have no idea how she got that far in life, she can't even spell. She asks me how to spell the simplest words. I know, I am not the best speller, but she saddens me.
Enough of that. I am very excited for November 10th!! That is when I am going back down to the USA to see my family. :) I miss them a lot, and it has been over a year since I saw them last. My grandma has Alzheimer, and it scares me to death that she wont remember me. :( She is pretty much my mother, and it would kill me if she didn't. I am also very excited to see my bestest friend in the entire world! I haven't seen her since June 2008! :( We text a lot and call...but that's never the same as hanging with your best friend driving around for no reason. :) It will be great! You have no idea, it will be awesome. I'm just really upset that my boyfriend is leaving for Ontario on October 11th... :( That will be a sad Thanksgiving. Well...now I'm a little upset and am going to go home. Bye mother! LOL!
xo
So, recently, my boyfriend and I had our six months together. It was pretty cute. I tried to do cute things, and take him out. When in all reality, we would have both rather just stayed home and watched a movie while ordering food. I really feel stupid for thinking I had to spend money and go out to make the day special, when just being with him makes it special. He moved in with me Sunday. That made me very happy. :) This way I don't feel like I have to nag him to see him, instead I just go home. :) If he isn't there, he will be by the end of the night. It's nice, and I really enjoy it. I get to wake up seeing the most amazing guy, and fall asleep snuggled close to him. Very romantic if I do say so myself. Who needs gifts when I get his smile and him whispering in my ear how much he loves me.
My car is acting up, and it's pissing me off. I changed the oil, oil filter, trans fluid, and such and it still runs funny. It actually seems to run worse! I will run and it seems to jerk and feels like the engine is about to stop. I am going to take it to my dad or my friends, but I'm not sure how worth fixing it is. Last time I worked on it with my boyfriend we both agreed it wasn't worth working on more. If it dies, just get a new one. I mean, if I keep this up, I am going to end up spending hundreds of dollars into a car I only bought for 700 dollars. Not so cool.
Lots of fun things seem to be happening. :) My friend John asked me to help him make a video for one of his songs. He has a CD from when he lived in Africa, and it's very good. I am rather excited. I might use that to apply for Ryerson. I dont know if that is how you spell the college's name, but I tried. :) Of course, I am not just applying there, I am going to apply everywhere I can think of. I dont want to close off any options I could have to learn and grow in the field. I'm very excited, but I am also very worried. I dont actually have enough confidence in my "talent" for the field that I will get far at all. I guess that is what university is for. :)
Moving out has been very up and down. It has been...20 days since I moved out. I would have to say it was better than the very first day I moved out. Haha! Room mate coming in at 2 am with friends being loud as hell when I had to work at 9 the next morning. No fun there. I seem to be late a lot however, compared to living at home. Which frustrates me. I know the reason is only that I am sleeping with my boyfriend. He is just too comfy to wake up so early and leave. Ugh! Speaking of work! I am so frustrated with that shit hole! I work at a fast food restaurant, but it's not entirely bad. I stay for the people. I have to say, however, it is so similar to a soap opera. There is so much drama going around that small building, it drives me crazy. The drama and rumors started there almost broke my boyfriend and I up twice. No fun. A few people in particular irritate me. Also, newer people are getting promoted at a rapid speed, while the employees who have been there longer and know more are being forgotten. I know for certain someone who should be promoted, but hasn't even been noticed. She does so much work and contributes so much, but isn't recognized. Instead, a stupid little girl who is just 15 and started not even two months ago is promoted. Apparently she is always working, which is a load of shit! She stands around texting or talking to her friends at work. The only reason all the managers think she works so hard, is because she is conveniently working on something when they come around. Very annoying. I know for certain when I started I was actually cleaning and working constantly, with or without a manager around. It really frustrates me when I know people are working, but have nothing to work on when managers are around. LAME! Really annoying. The head of the restaurant pisses me off the most however. She will demand everyone have at least one close or open in their schedule a week, but she never will. She refuses, but we have to. And! Even when she is working, she is sitting in the office or just standing around complaining. I have no idea how she got that far in life, she can't even spell. She asks me how to spell the simplest words. I know, I am not the best speller, but she saddens me.
Enough of that. I am very excited for November 10th!! That is when I am going back down to the USA to see my family. :) I miss them a lot, and it has been over a year since I saw them last. My grandma has Alzheimer, and it scares me to death that she wont remember me. :( She is pretty much my mother, and it would kill me if she didn't. I am also very excited to see my bestest friend in the entire world! I haven't seen her since June 2008! :( We text a lot and call...but that's never the same as hanging with your best friend driving around for no reason. :) It will be great! You have no idea, it will be awesome. I'm just really upset that my boyfriend is leaving for Ontario on October 11th... :( That will be a sad Thanksgiving. Well...now I'm a little upset and am going to go home. Bye mother! LOL!
xo
Saturday, September 12, 2009
Guess this is the first one...
Wow. Well, hello there. I am not exactly sure how well my grammar will be, but I will try. This is my first one of these things, friend's influence. I enjoy writing, and I guess this will help when I need to rant. :) I'm very excited for the 15th. It is going to be my 6 month anniversary with my boyfriend, even if we are celebrating on the 16th. I cant wait to see his face when I give him his present. :) I'm making it...not just buying something. So stoked! Well, the scent has gotten to my nose, and I need to stir the meat now. Farewell!
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